How to Use Sibling Playtime to Get Stuff Done

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Wish your kids played together more? You can use sibling playtime to help them learn, and then you can use this time to get more done!

If you have more than one kiddo, one strategy you can use to make more time for your business is what my family calls sibling playtime.

This is one of our flexible routine blocks during the week. While sibling playtime can look however you want it to, here’s what it looks like in our house:

• It lasts 30 minutes
• I create the master “pair” list and update it a few times a year to mix things up
• The younger sibling gets to pick (if they’re old enough) otherwise, the older one picks something they think their little sibling would enjoy
• The kids must follow the ground rules to keep it from spiraling into chaos…

And don’t worry, I’ll dive into more details below and share several ideas for what your kids can do during this time.

Clarifying note before we get dive in: My kids play together all the time! There is plenty of free time around here, and they frequently pair off or group up on their own and do things.

Sibling playtime is different. Sibling playtime is different. It’s a pre-scheduled pairing of kids. This is when I purposefully pair kids who don’t normally play together. 

Our Ground Rules for Sibling Playtime

At first, I just paired my kids up and set them loose. But that was a terrible idea.

The kids ended up fighting and running off to join other pairs.

So we sat down together and came up with some ground rules. And then, I spent the next two weeks purposefully observing and ensuring that the ground rules were being followed. Because if you’re not going to enforce the rules, there’s no sense in making them…

Getting this time up and running smoothly was worth the time for me. Because once the kids knew what to do and I could trust them to stick to the ground rules, I was able to squeeze in a little work time while they played. And as a busy freelance writer, any extra time is a huge blessing!

Our list of basic ground rules is listed above. Here, I’ll dive into a bit more detail so you can get a better sense about how this time of day works.

1) Have a Time Limit

There needs to be a definite ending point to sibling playtime. I set the timer for 30 minutes, and everyone knows how long they have.

Without a timer, I discovered I would keep adding minutes in my head to this time. I’d think, “Oh the kids are playing so well together, I’ll just do this other task quickly too…”

And then the breakdowns started.

The kids went from playing nicely to fighting over a toy. Or arguing about something random.

You want to end sibling playtime while it’s still going well. This way, everyone will enjoy the time and want to do it again.

Without a time limit, it’ll end quickly when someone gets mad.

2) Pair Your Kids

If you have an even number of kids, pair them up. Make sure you rotate the pair (unless you only have two) so that everyone can play with each other throughout the week.

You can have one group of three with an odd number of kids. Or you can decide who gets to do a super fun individual activity at the table during this time.

It’s an excellent time to bring out shaving cream for finger painting, a special toy set, play dough with tools, or something of that nature.

I’ve found groups of three tend not to work as well as groups of two. There’s more personality differences and opinions when you add the third person, and one usually ends up left-out.

So when we have odd numbers, I alternate which child is solo.

With a larger family like mine, it’s important to keep dynamics in mind. For example, I don’t match the baby and the toddler together. That wouldn’t end well for either of them. I also don’t match the toddler with my child with special needs.

By taking time in advance to create a paired list, I can take all of this into account. It goes much more smoothly with a plan compared to when I try to wing it on my own.

You might have to adjust that rule based on family size…and remember – there’s not a one-size-fits-all solution to sibling play time. So do what works for you!

3) Decide Who Picks the Activity

In our family, the rule has always been that the youngest child picks what they do, whenever possible.

I did this on purpose, as I discovered that the younger kids don’t often get to be the boss. They’re designated to be the cat while playing house or have to tag along in some way.

Having thirty minutes a day where they get to pick what to do with an older sibling has been good for them!

And it teaches the older kids to be kind and patient.

The older child might not like what’s selected. But it doesn’t matter. I tell them their siblings don’t always like what they pick, but they still play.

Everyone is used to it now, but it did cause some rumpled feathers at first.

Note: When someone is paired with a non-talker (for us it’s the baby and my son with special needs), the other child can pick. But, they must consider the abilities and interests of the other person.

4) Pick an Area

Once the kids are paired up, it’s time for them to select an area of the house/yard for playing in. Otherwise, they all try to do something together, which doesn’t work out too well and it defeats the purpose of pairing them up.

Think about where in your house pairs of siblings can go to play. Here’s a quick list to get your brain going:

• The living room
• A specific bedroom
• A dedicated play space
• The kitchen table
• The backyard
• The hallway

The type of activity they want to do will affect where they play. For example, you don’t want play dough happening on the carpeted bedroom floor! This means you have to oversee this part of the transition just to ensure the selected area matches the activity. If it doesn’t, step in quickly and offer some guidance.

5) Stay in Your Area

Once the pairs have gathered what they need and are in their area, they must stay there until the timer beeps.

Otherwise, you might have one sibling wandering off to explore what the other pairs are doing. Or you’ll have pairs wind up together into a group of four, which doesn’t work as well for this time.

Of course, potty breaks are allowed, but otherwise, the kids need to stay where they were.

6) Stick with One Activity

For me to be able to concentrate while the kids are playing, I need the kids to pick one activity and stick with it for the whole time. Before I implemented this rule, here’s a typical progression of events:

Pair A: Plays for five minutes and then come and find me.

Me: Go back to sibling playtime please.

Pair A: But we’re bored. Can we play with XY or Z instead?

Me: Sure, go get it.

Pair A: Traipses off to gather newly needed materials, interrupting all the other pairs along the way.

Pair B: They’re doing something different! Mom! Can we do something different too?

Me: UGH!!!!

I learned my lesson. So now the kids are stuck with the supplies/toys they gathered initially. They can change how they play or use their imagination with what they have.

But, they cannot leave their area to get more stuff.

7) Use Kind Words

And be ye kind one to another ~ Ephesians 4:32a

This is one of our family verses. And I repeat it often and have the kids do the same.

During sibling playtime (and any time), the rule is to be kind to each other.

This could be a challenge if your kids aren’t used to playing together.

Know in advance what you will do if you hear unkind words or see unkind deeds. Then make sure EVERYONE knows what will happen.

And follow through with what you say.

If the offender has to apologize and then go to bed for five minutes, make sure you have them do that.

The less consistent you are, the more you’ll have to deal with it.

8) Clean Up Together

Both siblings in a pair must help clean up the space when the time is up (if it’s developmentally appropriate). This encourages them not to make a huge mess during sibling playtime since they must clean their space.

Activities for Sibling Playtime

Once the ground rules are in place, it’s time to brainstorm activities your kids can do together. I recommend having a list they can pick from so they have some inspiration, and you aren’t trying to rack your brain last minute.

Having a list also allows me to break it down by age – I don’t want the one-year-old playing with teeny tiny parts for instance.

So you can have the list broken up something like this:

Baby and Older

• Read board books
• Roll balls back and forth
• Do water play with big bowls of water and kitchen tools

Toddler and Older

• Play an age-appropriate board game like Don’t Break the Ice or Tell Me A Story
• Set up the train tracks
• Play on the Teeter Popper

Preschooler and Older

• Do a peg puzzle
• Play restaurant with the toy food
• Read books together (the older one typically reads to the younger one)
• Get out the baby dolls and play house
• Dress up
• Fill the sink partway with soapy water and “wash” some toys that can get wet

Other ideas for sibling play time:

And while these ones aren’t broken down by age, here are a bunch of other ideas to consider:

• Build a fort
• Do a how-to-draw video
• Color
• Build something out of a box
• Pretend to be in a circus
• Cook something (trail mix is a favorite since the bigger kids can get the stuff out and the younger ones can dump and stir)
• Make a treasure hunt for your other siblings
• Create a scavenger hunt
• Build with LEGOs
• Do water play on a towel with big bowls of water and some kitchen tools
• Make a big tower from Jenga blocks
• Play peekaboo with the baby
• Give the baby a ride around the room in a laundry basket or on a blanket
• Use pattern blocks

There are so many ways your kids can spend time together! And while they’re playing, you can be nearby working. This way, you’re ready to intervene if necessary but are still giving them space to work out some of the problems independently.

Here’s a peek at the type of work I do during this time (hint: It’s not deep focus stuff, so I can be interrupted more easily…)

• Responding to emails
• Creating new images for social media
• Updating old blog posts
• Creating outlines for post
• Brainstorming ideas

Will You Add Sibling Playtime to Your Day?

If you aren’t already utilizing sibling playtime, consider making it a flexible routine block in your daily schedule.

And for other strategies for calming the chaos and finding time for your business, check out my course Balancing Diapers and Deadlines. It has bite-sized lessons to help you clear the overwhelm, harness your brain power, and get more done!